My Double Life

In my last post, I incorrectly assumed that Spring was here. It is more apt to say that Spring is on the way.The mirage evaporated as it snowed twice since then and it is April! But that is not the focus of this rant. When I undertook this course of study I expected some challenges, being away from home and all. In fact the question of how I planned to deal with my family obligations whilst away was posed to me at the scholarship interview. But somehow I never expected it would be this hard. I feel so torn between being here and not being able to help at home. I missed Timothy's 6th Birthday party, but assisted in the planning if only to coordinate the guest list. However it still not the same as being there. Now Timmy is negotiating and wants to 'make a deal with me' about coming home NOW. Nathan, never the talker before, still sometimes simply refuses to utter a word to me and Paul, my hero, I think is just quietly enduring until such time. I feel like I am living two lives in one, being a student on the one hand and being a wife and mother on the other... and right now these roles are in complete divergence.
I am 6 years old he says!

Alas! such are the times.... though I am closer to the end than I was at the start, it's just like my Mom used to say " the darkest hour is just before dawn'. Man, I am really looking forward to the sunrise!! Paul, Timmy and Nathan, I love you; be patient with me for just a while longer. Nothing in life worth having comes without some sacrifice.